Chapter 8 Confrontations
Chapter 8 Confrontations
The assignment was set on her servant and Lanfear found some time for herself. No downtime or hair combing or long baths. No time as she had a plan to consider further and as she lit a small candle next to the chair, she waited for the soft light to grow as the wick got warmer. A sudden noise disturbed her thoughts over the flame that made shadows on the wall and she looked up wondering. Rising from her seat, ready to kill whoever it was that interfered her she realized something that stopped her move. Hovering over the chair, she touched the weaves that she had placed around the room and found that they were all still in place. Someone was here, someone who did not want her wards to go off unless he chose to. There were few who had the ability, they were men channeling Saidin and they were strong and experienced but moreover, they were still alive. Lanfear took a step forward and waited until the door opened, showing someone she could have expected sooner seeing as she had visited his little pet. Yes, Lillen had not taken long to warn her protector that the Daughter of the Moon was walking into her web, perhaps he had his bells up there too. Lanfear waited as Bel’al, Duram Laddel Cham stepped in, clad in a dark brown cloak which moved only for an inch revealing the hilt of his broadsword. His hand moved over the hilt calmly, not searching but approving.
“Mierin, I hear you’ve been looking up our old friends, why did you not look me up?” She smiled, “I was not planning on leaving you out, Duram – you know me better than that.” He nodded and placed himself in one of her chairs, then said, “I hear you want to know what drove us to join the pact.” She only nodded in reply, “Don’t.” He paused and then continued, “You are one of us, nothing can change that, not your hunt passed all of us, not the torture of the weaklings or the manipulation of the stronger,” Lanfear shook her head. “That is how you see it, my view is different. I need to know what happened and why we made the decision to follow him.” Duram nodded, “I understand, but remember that the Great Lord has not lost, he has merely retreated and he has his prize as you well know,” this stung Lanfear even more than the knowledge of what she had done. He had his prize with him, ripped away from the world, from her reaching hands. “Lews Therin is no more,” Duram said and then rose from his chair, “Deal with it and stop looking up old friends as if they are your enemies,” he nodded and left the room before Lanfear could speak in return. She walked after him and found that he was already ripping a thread in the air to step through, “I did not torture Lillen,” she said and found him stopping in his pace, without turning he replied, “I know.” Lanfear continued, “It was not you, it was not that I feared your retaliation if I had,” he turned on his heel and nodded, “I know,” she smiled and this time the smile found her eyes. “Goodbye Mierin,” and with that he took a step and was gone as if he had never been there.
Settling slowly back into the chair, the conversation played back in her head and she thought about what he had given her. He had not given a direct answer to her questions, but he had shown that he still cared for Lillen despite her running off like the coward she was. He had a weakness and had shown that, yet was there a way she could use it? She could not step into his dreams and show how he would trample on the little spider, he would ward his dreams and stop her even nearing him. Besides, what did she gain aside from a very strong adversary? She did not need him to be her enemy, she did not want him as her ally. For now, she would leave him be, allow him to enjoy his time with the little one and ward his dreams for her revenge. She had other things to deal with, more friends to visit and speak with. Perhaps it was worth another talk with a possibly ally, Lanfear considered the thought of seeking out Kamarille and reconsidering the alliance. Perhaps if the other woman would listen to her reason and help her to ask the questions that needed to be asked, she would find the way to her real nemesis. And truthfully, she could not face him alone, she would need the others and form a circle.
“The circle is complete, we stand here together as one and none can say that our strength was not tested today…”the memory was short but vivid and painful. Lanfear sat back down in the chair and let it wash over her, the faces of the others as they stood there, determined and afraid, sure that this was their end as much as it was for the rest of the world. A single tear found it’s way out of the corner of her eye, the sacrifice had been great and the memory made her relive that loss as if she was part of that circle again, channeling an incredible amount of Saidar to help complete the weave. Her ward sounded and her hand moved a twitch, a sound of something falling and a gurgling of someone choking. It was not difficult to demand from your servants to leave you in peace, it was not difficult to set off a ward that cleared the hallway of air and sucked out the life from the young man who found it necessary to enter, he stood there pale and choking in the door opening when she released the weave. That was difficult.
“What?” she asked and he fell to his knees, “A letter My Lady,” he said and coughed hard. She allowed him to learn from his mistake as her curiosity was spiked by the news of a letter, perhaps this was the information she had been waiting for. Would Carmen have news this quick? Had another found a lead she had asked for? But when she found the seal under her fingertips, Lanfear knew that the letter was not from one of her servants. It came from Graendal as the seal showed, the letter would have to be treated before she could read it. As Lanfear broke the weave that would incinerate the parchment in the hand of a curious servant taking a peek, she wondered what was so important it required a young man to feel the icy stare of death on him. Graendal had just spoken to her a few days ago and her offer of alliance had been turned down by Lanfear, why did she need to send a letter now? What was there left to say? “Leave, do not return,” she said to the bringer of the message and waited until she was alone to read the words. It was a declaration, a lot like Duram’s words it was an immediate request not to search anymore. Only this was an attempt of manipulation and a very sorely hidden one at best. The woman had not lost her tricks, but she could have lost her mind. The letter was brief and showed that Graendal feared Lanfear and her search for answers. She feared what Lanfear could find out when she looked further and searched deeper. This letter drew her near, it opened a door that was closed before and her next move was planned. Lanfear readied herself for a reply, a personal reply that showed the Alliance was further from her mind than ever before. It was time to prepare for a trip. Graendal would have company over her cup of tea, Lanfear’s company.
Chapter 7 We never Change
Chapter 7 We Never Change
The inn was cold, empty and void of any human touch. The walls were blackened from fire and as Carmen ran a finger over one of the tables, she could no longer feel that it had once been pure wood. She watched as Alex stared around, he used to work here before all hell had broken loose and he had had to fight to stay alive. She understood him better than he thought she did, she had spent two years analyzing him, studying his every move and trying to grasp what he was thinking. Once she had seen into his dreams, knowing then that he would never give himself willingly to her. She sighed as she let her finger trace the blackness that covered the table. A piece of wood crumpled under her touch and fell down, a soft puff and then it was gone. She stared at it, it reminded her of something. Alex had emerged from the kitchen, “It’s all gone back there,” he said and she nodded. “I have not come here to cook,” she said, “I have felt a balance here, or rather something that was off balance. I believe even you can feel it, someone channeled here,” She did not add that the force was much stronger than her own ability, someone very strong in the One Power had channeled and if she could concentrate better she might feel the reminiscence of the weaves. “A chair would be nice,” Alex suddenly said, interrupting her train of thought. Carmen watched him, what did he mean by that?
“I can’t even remember the last time I sat down,” he said and then grinned at her. He grinned, she could not believe it. Not an indignant grin, but something to be happy about. He sat down on a bench and looked up at her, “I don’t think there’ll be anyone here to serve us anything.” Then he rose and offered her his seat on the blackened bench, “I think I’ll remain standing for now,” she said. Her head was spinning with the force of what seemed to fill the room. Nobody else was there but them yet still she felt it. Like a thick blanket that laid over her skin and pulsed like a breathing creature. She smiled sourly and said, “I’ll go have a look around, maybe we should split up and try to find something to eat?” He nodded and started for the stairs. “No, let me go up there,” she said and noticed the look on his face. He had changed so much since last she had seen him, she was well aware of his constant hatred but it mattered little. In the end, they had both survived and the Wheel had brought them back together. He would be with her now and if he left, he would be alone in the chaos of death and destruction. Surely her presence could not be considered worse than that? He left the room and she was alone in what looked like the common room of any inn. Tables were shoved to one side but she could easily imagine how people had sat down to eat dinner and to have a drink. Her eyes moved over the space around her, longing gazes that seemed to drink in the memories this place held. Memories of parties and of long romantic nights that young lovers spent together in the backroom. Had she ever allowed herself that? She had not known much that even remotely resembled romance, her conquests over both men and women were not romantic. Once she had known something personal, it was not love as that was a weakness her seductress skills had eliminated. But it had come so close with Marcus, who had made her feel like a woman, without her actually having to work for it. She had not needed her tricks and plays to make them both feel truly powerful and alive, if that was love than she had had her taste of it. Yet, as she looked at Alex who had just returned from his quest into a backroom, the love for Matalina and the hurt still shining in those bright eyes, she could not help but wonder if there was not something she was missing out on. Her feet carried her up the stairs to avoid looking at him much longer, he had made his choice not to be with her a long time ago. She had gone on living and would never change, she was too old for change now.
As she gently pushed open the door, Carmen was pleasantly surprise by the sight of a double bed with blankets and pillows, untouched by the flames and warm. She smiled and started to undress slowly. The fabric that covered her skin was soft velvet and she liked how it caressed her skin without losing its basic function of protection. Smiling she walked over to a basin, there was no water in it but with a simple weave that was helped instantly. She washed herself and then found some soap and cleaned herself up, washing off the dust and smelling the rose scent fill the air. When she was done she wrapped herself in a sheet and laid down on the bed, when she remembered Alex was still down stairs in the inn’s common room. She rose from the bed and walked over to the door, “Alex, come and see what I have found my pet,” she called and left the door ajar as she moved back towards the bed. She laid herself down on it, the sheet only covering her private parts and just up to her bosom which was rising steadily with every anticipating breathe. She suddenly longed for the feeling of passion, it did not matter that he did not like her, maybe hated her, she wanted to feel something. He entered the room, looking around carefully and then surprise shone through on his face as he noticed her. “What did you need me for? To complete your party?” he asked in a knowing voice. She sulked and said, “It’s just a bit of pleasure, it’s not like I’m going to hurt you,” he nodded. “No, you did that before,” she smiled but he did not and so she straightened her face again. “Come lie next to me Alex,” she said in a sweet voice that would have lured the fly into her spiders’s web. He looked at the bed, longingly, then at her, with disgust showing in his eyes. Still? After all those years? She smiled, “I won’t bite ya,” she said and patted on the blanket next to her. “I just washed up and have not been able to put myself back into my dress, it’s so dusty,” and he nodded. Carmen was not sure if it was her body, the warm scent or just the promise of a soft bed, but nonetheless he came and sat down next to her. Leaving a large portion of the bed untouched, like a gap between them. “I won’t bite,” she said and turned on her side, then stroked the side of his face. “I like your hair, the way it is longer now,” and he nodded, then turned to his side. His back was turned to her now and she sighed deep. “Fine, if you don’t want to play, then don’t.” Alex turned to his back and stared up at her, the fire blazing in her eyes as she went over his body. Longing, wondering what it would be like to touch him and to feel the strength of his muscles, those hard eyes staring deep into her own as their passion would rise to its peak. She smiled warmly and let her pout become full and round as she licked her lips. Alex’ flushed slightly and she wondered what he was thinking now, maybe she had hit the right cord? “I don’t have feelings for you Carmen, none what so ever,” she nodded. “Then this will be so much easier,” and with that pulled the sheet away from herself. He stared into her eyes, seemingly unwilling to go below her face, but then he did and she could feel his physical attraction heat her up inside. A warm feeling filled her belly and ran through her legs and upwards. “You have a beautiful body Carmen, but your timing is off, you’ll never change and nor will I,” and with that he turned over to his side again, back turned towards her. Carmen sulked and then pulled the sheet back over her body. She nestled herself against his back and placed her head on the pillow. He might not want to share his passion with her, he did not move away and she fell asleep listening to his heartbeat.
Her eyes flew open, the shades from the light seemed to fade and as she looked around, Carmen was not sure there was any light left. Crumbling beneath her feet, the floors seemed unable to hold her weight. Carmen looked around and noticed how the scenery of the small room with the bed and the table in it seemed almost gone now. Alex was gone too, though she could not be sure she had actually seen him present. Where was she now? Could this be The World of Dreams? Had she entered it without thought, risking her life in doing so? A cough broke her train of thought and as the room was completely gone and she stood in silence and darkness a clear voice called to her. “Carmen, come over here, I need to speak with you,” it was a voice she had last heard before Tar’mon Gaidon had come over them. Before she had even thought that the Last Battle could near, a year before when she was in a place similar to this, except for a large silver throne in the center of the black void. She started to walk in no apparent direction until she noticed a door coming out of nowhere. It had to be the Mistress of the Night, for no other had such control over Tel’Aran’Rhiod and Carmen was now without a doubt sure that is where she was. She raised her hand and noticed how the black dress she had been wearing had changed into a high necked green dress, long and tight around her legs with low boots below. Had she changed her appearance to come of as less sensual and more powerful? It was not unlike her, as she knew that Lanfear was one of few who did not want Carmen for her charm and her body. She wanted the dreadlady to use those in her task, but not around the Chosen herself, she had been very clear about that. “I come to you and bow down, may the Light Illumine you Lanfear,” she said and curtsied deep before her Mistress.
“Stop groveling and listen, for I have little time now,” Carmen nodded and rose to meet the voice, then she noticed Lanfear standing just a few feet away from her. She looked beautiful, her dark hair combed straight down her back, her dark eyes gazing over the dreadlady with a coldness that chilled Carmen down to her spine. She looked pensive somehow, Carmen had not seen her often but the times they had met the Chosen had always looked mysterious, self assure and strong. Not pensive, it was a bit too much like doubt for her taste. Yet, as their eyes met, Carmen shivered uncontrollably and cast her eyes to the ground. “I have spoken with some who have brought me no answers to my questions, I think in stirring up these questions I have only found more.” Yes, there was a clear hint of doubt in the other woman’s voice. Carmen was about to respond, ask what these questions were when Lanfear spoke, “I need you to find out some information for me Carmen,” and at this the dreadlady nodded. “Of course,” she said and wanted to say more, but already Lanfear continued in a calm and contemplating voice, “I need to know where Arid Mosinel is hiding.” She paused then said as an afterthought, “You know him as Rahvin, he was last seen near the Bore and since then I have not heard a single thing about him. Find him for me.” Carmen nodded, not sure how she was ever going to find a Chosen, one that clearly did not want to be found if she could go by Lanfear’s words. “Of course Mistress, as you wish,” she said with a curtsey. The Chosen seemed lost in thought and Carmen shuffled her feet, waiting to be excused. She did not like being asked to wait or not to be recognized for her power, but somehow whenever she was around the Mistress of the Night she accepted. She accepted the waiting and the lack of control from she, who controlled her dreams with the ease of a flick from her wrist.
As she opened her eyes, Carmen looked up and found Alex deep asleep next to her. She was back in the small room in the ruined inn and sighed deep. This was certainly not what she had expected from her stay in the inn. How had Lanfear found her? When she started to think back on the strength she had felt earlier, when they had just stepped into the inn. She had been unsure as to whom it could have been, maybe Lanfear was in fact very close. She almost jumped from the bed, tossing the blanket and the sheet from her and staring around, frantic looks shooting left and right. Then she looked down and realized she was bare, her hand reached out for a black silk dress she had taken off to feel proud and the master seductress before, not it only made her feel cold and an unsettling feeling mastered her senses. What if Lanfear was looking down at her now? Eyeing her with the air of someone looking down on a child misbehaving. She quickly slipped back into the dress and then wrapped the blanket around her. The cold did not want to leave her body and a good hour later, when Alex woke up from a comfortable sleep he found her dozing, sitting half upright and wrapped in a blanket on the bed next to him. If he did not hate her so much, he might have held her and told her it would all be alright. Now he merely sighed and nudged her to wake up and tell him what she needed him for. He had no sense of time, but looking through the window he could see the sun coming up. Soon a new day would set in and he would have to prepare a trip, away from here and from her if he could help it. Though, where to then?
Chapter 6 An Alliance
Chapter 6 An Alliance
“Useless, utterly useless,” Lanfear paced angrily around the small room, staring down at her messenger at every turn. His eyes were cast down to the ground and he inhaled and exhaled deep, as if he was taking his last breathes. “Mistress, I cannot help but have my sources…” she cut him off with a single glance and said, “You really should stop talking right now,” and so he did. “I wonder if you even think for yourself, at least for once in your life you should try it, be amazed at the power of your own mind.” She knew it was useless to tell this man what to do. He was a darkfriend, a simple man who ran a market stand in Tar Valon and who reported to her now and then. Yet now, his report sufficed him to say there was no real activity in Tar Valon. “People are returning to the city, but too many are dead to say that there is real activity,” and she nodded. He had said so before and the words sounded true enough, yet it was not the kind of information she was looking for. “Where are they? She asked him sternly and looked as he bowed his head. “I do not know, my power does not go to those who use the One Power.” He said it as if he was referring to some higher force of being. Lanfear licked her lips as she tried to calm herself, “Fine, leave then,” he nodded, bowed deep and left the room curtsying and muttering low “Yes Mistress,” remarks under his breathe. She forgot about him soon after as the door flung open and a woman of remarkable height stepped in. A little trick that most of them used to impress those who could be impressed, Lanfear did not use it herself. She had other ways to show her presence and the importance of it.
With a flick of her wrist she lifted the woman about a foot up in the air and said with a smile, “Welcome Kamarile.” She was not even that high up in the air and Lanfear thought for a moment on the idea to turn her upside down. “Is that the way you greet an old friend?” the woman asked with a sneer. Lanfear nodded, “Yes, what do you want?” She nodded, seemingly forgetting that her skirts were dangling loosely around her legs and that her feet had yet to touch the ground. Graendal, psychologist before she turned to the Great Lord could analyze this situation from afar and remained calm as she gazed over Lanfear. They had at one point been in alliance and then something had happened between them that had made them break their promise. Lanfear remembered this well, as she had thought of the red-haired woman as someone worthy of her time. The woman might have made wrong choices in the past, maybe time could have changed her and it was time to find out. Lanfear decided to lower the woman, who seemed as uncaring to be up in the air as she was about being released again. Graendal brushed through her curls and adjusted her skirts until her round curves were emphasized again by the soft yellow cream-colored fabric and her bosom was just exposed enough to turn a man into a meek wonder of himself. Lanfear appreciated the talent this woman had in opening a man’s eyes and not allowing him to do anything but stare at her. She herself had never understood the pleasure in taking over a man to a spineless physique that only had one thing on his mind. She enjoyed the solitude of her own intellect, for no man matched her by far and no woman dared step closer than a full arm’s length. And as Graendal did step closer, Lanfear’s brow furrowed.
“I came because I heard some rumor about you wanting to know what we did, I understand that you have your doubts, but you cannot doubt that you were involved yourself,” Lanfear licked her lips again. The woman was right but it was no time to let her know of that fact. “You heard correct in that I have sought for the answer to the question what we did and moreover: Why we did it.” She did not feel the need to say more, but Graendal settled herself in the chair the servant had left empty. “You always choose the simplest of throne rooms when you roam the world Mierin, I wonder why that is.” Lanfear nodded absently, she did not need silk and satin to get her point across. Unlike some people, she thought to herself and smiled softly. “Let’s get to the point, I want to help you. Together we can form a new alliance, a new plan can be made and we can bring them to their knees for what they did.” Her eyes shone bright, as bright as the color of her hair and she smiled at Lanfear with lust shining through, unmistakably. “No,” Lanfear said in reply, “No, we cannot say they were the ones who did what we all did, we were involved as you said yourself.” Graendal shook her head, “With the right tools we can make them believe our version of the truth,” Lanfear shook her head and started to pace again. “What do you mean our version, there is no need for a new version. All we need to do is find a way to free Him, after what we did he will want us dead. No matter how far we run or how deep we bury ourselves in this ‘our truth’ talk, he will find us and he will seek his revenge. There is one man guilty for rowing us up and once I have him, we’ll see who gets to live and who gets to meet his Lord before his time,” this time it was not nerves or doubt that shone on her face. Lanfear’s eyes blazed with the power of knowing that she would have it that way, she pursed her lips together and then turned her eyes over to Graendal. “That said, you are allowed to change your offer and help me nonetheless,” the woman nodded in thought.
“Allowed, you say?” but she did not seem to want to protest against this choice of words. Maybe it was something that she could use later, when everything fell through. She could say that Lanfear had allowed her to join her plan, not that she was persuaded or had even thought of it herself. Yes, Graendal had expected this turn in their conversation and she did her best to hide that and to ponder over what she knew Mierin would suggest. “Fine, I will see what I can find out. We shall agree to meet soon, I do hope you will reconsider our Alliance,” this time she came up to Lanfear and ran a finger over the woman’s cheek. Lanfear gazed at her almost absently and then stared past her, her gaze locked on the door, “You should leave, we are not Allied yet, though your help on this might change that.” She smiled and ran a finger through the woman’s red curls, “I might be… tempted,” she added and then turned around. Her back turned to the woman, waiting for her to leave. As the door closed, Lanfear waited and then exhaled a deep breathe. She had held it for some time as she tried to think about what she would do next. Her move would have to be bold, a statement that could not be denied, not by anyone. “Just wait and see,” she mused in the darkness and then brushed out of the room as if never having been there. The room in the Sirens Call was one of few that could still be called a room, the rest of it was demolished. Lanfear stared at the familiar sight as she stood outside it, then left.
Chapter 5 We are Dead to the World
Chapter 5 We are Dead to the World
What time seemed to have passed since Alex had last seen Carmen did not seem to matter. She was manipulating him into coming back to her, as if Alex had ever volunteered himself. He felt the sting deep inside as he realized that he was lying to himself now. He had never fought her off, once she had broken through all his defenses and trampled on him until threw was nothing left. Alex had used the physical pleasure to forget about the pain inside. “You know, there is nobody left standing,” Alex said and as the words rolled over his lips and he heard them back in the echo of the emptiness that surrounded them, he knew they were true. She merely shrugged, “I found you, why would I not find others as well,” and seemed to leave it at that. Alex wondered about her, where she had been since their ways parted. And then he wondered why he cared in the first place, what did it matter? She had tortured him, broken him and smiled at him as she did, why did he not walk away from her now? Her hand stroked his face, “I heard you became a daddy,” she said in a barely audible voice. He nodded absently, Fawne was his daughter, a beautiful young woman who had followed in her parents’ footsteps and paid the price for it. “She is no more,” he said and was suddenly shocked by how little emotion he voiced with that. Carmen nodded, “yes, I know,” and he did not dare ask why she knew. “You should never have allowed her to become a Warder, much less bond a Green Aes Sedai,” Carmen said and waved her hand in the air in a gesture that suggested she knew exactly what that meant. “She was used as bait by the witch who controlled her,” this sparked up rage inside of Alex. Whatever had happened between Fawne and her bondmate was between them, his daughter had died protecting the Green Sister, the Aes Sedai whom she had bonded willingly. “It was not a question of bait, she did her job, she was well trained,” Carmen shook her head, “No she was not, I remember her Promotion quite well, I was there you see, she was so young,” she said as his face turned ash gray.
“The dark side has always lingered in the Tower and among the darkfriends who protect our Sisters there,” Alex shrugged. He did not care about the Tower anymore, had long gotten over that since returning to Tar Valon. “The Tower is no more, what does it matter now,” he said and felt the sting of those words pierce through him. “Oh it matters my pet,” she said and smiled lusciously at him. “It means that we have won in the end, maybe the Great Lord is not here to see his victory or to celebrate with us, but we have won,” Alex stared at her. “He is gone? He died?” Carmen sighed and ran a finger over his cheek again, the long fingernail leaving a trace over his skin. “You know so little and yet you pretend to know so much and to be so much my pet, I can appreciate that, but do not drive it to the point where your ignorance is your knowledge,” he did not understand her but he nodded all the same. “You don’t know enough to say anything my pet, the Great Lord can’t die and he is definitely not defeated, he has retreated to let us do his work for him,” she smiled warmly at him. “We have won and the world will soon know our power for what it is.” Alex nodded, “Then kill me now, for I do not wish to see a world where Darkness rules,” Carmen stroked her finger over his neck now, tracing a pattern in his skin where she could seemingly behead him, “No, I shall not my pet, I need someone to keep me company while I wait for my Lord to come to me and tell me what he wants me to do, he has promised me that,” and she leaned in and kissed him on the lips. His lips became warm, somehow he did not want her to let go and as her lips were pressed on his own, he waited and enjoyed the sensation and warmth. He felt alive. She pulled away and then took a step back, “As I remember it,” and then turned on her heel. “Are you coming?” she asked and he nodded, why not.
They walked for quite some time before she stopped and said, “I can get us there faster,” and he looked at her suddenly. Did she have a goal, somewhere to take him to? “Where do you want to go?” He asked and she said, “I want you to be able to say goodbye to her,” Alex swallowed, not sure that he wanted to know, but against better judgment he asked, “Say goodbye to whom?” and she smiled and stroked some hair from her face, she looked innocent almost, almost for her knew who she really was. “Come with me,” and so he did. She made a ripple in the air, and then showed Alex something that seemed to appear on the other side. It looked like the same plains that they were standing on, but he could see other elements in the scenery. “Step through, I will follow you,” she said while giving him a soft nudge to pass through. Alex did, even though he was weary of what she was doing, he stepped through and looked around. It was as if he had taken a single step and a giant leap through space all in one. He could see the Dragonwall up ahead and even though the shapes on the horizon had changed. The dead bodies they had left behind were here as well scattered over the ground, though not as close up together and in such numbers as the field they had left behind. There were men and women lying dead, with blood gushes on their face, some of them eyes open and startled looks on their faces. “They are all dead, as is the person I want you to see,” her voice was slow and her tone low, unnatural to her. She usually used her voice to manipulate, to make you feel special and to let your lust take over your brain. Right now, she seemed more like a mother figure, somehow protecting him and this scared him more than anything else she could have done to him.
They walked around for a bit, Carmen’s eyes searching the grounds and Alex following her a few steps behind, wary of what she was looking for. And slightly more of what would happen when she found it. “Here we are I think, she was here when I left this place,” she said and then turned around. “I understand if you hate me for doing this, she was yours and you should be able to say a proper goodbye,” she stepped aside and Alex looked at her questioningly before looking passed her. “Just so you know, it was not me who killed her, I found her like this when she was already gone,” as if that mattered anything. “Matalina,” the name merely a word meant so much more than just a word. The woman was lying on her side, her hair covered her face and covered in blood her hands laid over her sword. “Matalina, why…” he said and stroked the hair from her face, then kissed the blue cold lips. He had not seen her in so long, not since she left Tar Valon for a second time. Fawne had only been a little girl then, crying at night about her mother leaving her. Asking Alexander never to leave her, asking him that he would stay with her at night so that she would not have to wake up and find him gone too. “Now I have lost you both,” he said and then the pain was too much. He felt tears burn in his eyes and let them flow over his dust covered cheeks. “Matalina, I love you,” she stared at him with a lifeless gaze. His hand moved over her face and he closed her eyelids. “She is here somewhere right?” Alex nodded in reply. “Yes, she came back to help her Sedai, the woman had lost her other two warders already.” He did not continue the rest of the story, maybe he could tell her but right now all he could do was cry. He had lost his daughter, their daughter and now his great love too. Alex buried his face in her hair and tried to smell her soft scent. It was gone, all that remained was the scent of death and he cried.
Sobbing violently he cried for a long time, not sure how long it had been when he felt Carmen’s hand on his shoulder. “Come on,” she simply stated and he pushed her off. “No, I’m not going anywhere with you, can’t you see there is nothing left for me to live for?” She sighed audibly and said, “Suit yourself, she is dead and you can’t bring her back,” then she turned away and left Alex alone. Alone with Matalina, he kissed her again and then looked up, his eyes searching for Carmen. “What are you offering?” he said in a low grunt. He could almost hear her smile, she turned around slowly and said, “We can start over, you and I,” Alex shook his head, “No, too much has happened and I have lost too much,” he did not add that it was in a way all her fault. It had started with the murder of Melissande, or maybe even before that when she had tried to take Matalina. She had even tried to kidnap Fawne, though Alex had only Matalina’s word to believe that and he had thought at odd times that maybe one of her personalities had tried to get rid of Fawne. Maybe one of them did not like the idea of a baby in her life and had made up the story of a kidnapping for Matalina to accept. He let go of her body and stroked some of the hairs from her face, before turning away from her. “Good bye my love,” and then followed after Carmen. “Where are we going?” he asked and she smiled, “To lay our heads to rest and fill our stomachs,” and with that she smiled and gestured for him to follow her. “You remember your time in Tar Valon, in the Sirens Call it was called?” He nodded.
Chapter 4 A Spider’s Dream
Chapter 4 A Spider’s Dream
The horse was panting, she patted his neck and wondered why after only an hour the animal was already exhausted. She was using a more common means to travel by, so as not to draw attention. Attention would ruin her plans and that was not why she had come all the way down here. Her sources had informed her about the whereabouts of Lillen, hiding in Baerlon apparently. The horse seemed to mind the dirt road a lot and was pulling in its legs as she reined him in. Soon they would arrive at the destination and she had no time to waste now. Lillen could hear of her arrival and flee the scene, this was not something Lanfear was prepared to take, she wanted her justice settled. Lillen had not yet broken the pact, but she had made it damn difficult for the others to stand by their word with her running off like that. Lanfear sighed and descended from the horse, tied the reins to a branch and studied its leg. It was cut, the horse had been running with a gasping wound in its left front leg for over an hour. Lanfear stared at it and then back into the horse’ eyes, “You did well, now sleep,” and with a hand over the horse’s eyes she put an end to his suffering. He sank down though his legs and rested against the tree, she stared at it for a long minute and then unpacked the saddle bags. Having brought only the cloak over her shoulders and a small pack she did not have to carry much.
The road was empty save for the woman in the dark blue cloak walking alone, having left her horse by the tree, in an endless sleep. She soon found the building her sources had described to her earlier and noticed how it looked completely empty. “The spider hides her web well,” she spoke softly and then started to walk again. The cloak flew up once, the wind got hold of it as if to peek at the beauty under the hood. But she pulled it closer around her, the element of surprise needed to remain in place and soon she would reveal herself. Soon enough she would face the woman who had let her cowardice overcome her duty and that of the others. They had shared the burden, although it was clear there was only one at fault, one who had asked them all to keep to their pact. “They will pay, and he will know the price of his betrayal to the Great Lord, he will pay the price for all of our betrayal, all of us together will find the answer and will ask for mercy when he returns.” The words rolled empty from her lips, she herself was responsible, without her they could not have done what they did. It hurt, the truth hurts.
“Mierin,” the voice was light, a hint of fear drew into it as the woman who uttered the phrase realized she had spoken. She had thus given away any chance of running, Lanfear was grateful for that much. “I do not use that name anymore Lillen, you should have remembered,” she said and used a light trick of Air to push the woman back. Back into the cell she called her home now. She had a good look around while the other woman scrambled back to her feet, it was dark and only lit by a few candles on the walls. She found a large bookcase filled with what looked like molded old rubbish. A long table with a few chairs around it and in the far corner a simple bed. It made Lanfear almost shudder in horror, but she kept herself calm and studied the woman’s face instead. “The spider came out of her web and failed in her task, thus she retreated to the darkest corner of the house she called her home,” Lillen stared at her and said, “If you do not use your name, then let me keep mine, Moghedien,” and Lanfear nodded. She cared little about names now and if this was something that would hold the other woman together then fine. “Alright, tell me what you know, tell me what I want to know,” the other woman brushed some of her raven black hair from her face and let her eyes dart over the floor before facing Lanfear. “I can’t tell you more than you already know Lanfear,” she said.
This was progress to say the least, she took a hint and seemed unable to hide from the gaze that rested upon her. “I want to know why you followed him, why you did not stop him when he suggested we go against the Great Lord,” Moghedien’s lips trembled. “I never could,” she finally said. Lanfear did not miss the pity that was drawn from those eyes. The woman was sulking now and settled herself in a chair, not offering her guest one, so Lanfear remained standing. As Lanfear waited for Moghedien to gather herself back together, she donned the cloak over the table and stretched out her arms a bit. Another look around the room gave her an even worse feeling of gloom and she smiled softly as her icy stare gazed back over the woman sitting down. Lanfear stared at the other woman and said, “Tell me, I shall not be able to leave before you tell me.” Moghedien nodded, “It was our betrayal, you were there, you know what happened and that we had no choice, I only followed you and the others, I had no choice of my own in the matter.” Lanfear’s face turned to a sour grimace. “You always have a choice,” she replied. “Even a lesser darkfriend with no hope of surviving has the choice to die in dignity. We all have a choice and we made the wrong one.” Her words cut through the air like a razor and she could feel the other woman trying to duck back. Moghedien was trying to hide from Lanfear’s words and this brought her not an inch of pleasure, she was not here to rule over the woman, she was here to get an answer.
The answer finally came. “I do no know Lanfear, I bow my head in shame and I hold on to the thought that he will rise again.” Moghedien shunned the other woman’s gaze and indeed bowed her head. Lanfear smirked at this and then started to laugh. The joy never reached her eyes, it was the ridiculousness of the situation that made her burst out in laughter. “You truly believe that after what happened there will ever be another reign of power?” She stopped laughing as instantly as she had started, “You are so small, so ignorant of your own actions and what you have done.” Moghedien started, “It was not just me, you are at fault as much as I am,” and then rose from her seat. “Sit!” Lanfear said and pushed her back with a thread of Air, but this time the other woman seemed prepared. Moghedien pushed the flow of Air back against Lanfear who was now pushed back up the door. “Good, you are learning,” she said and stroked off her skirts. Walking back up to the table she did not stop until she reached Moghedien’s fragile form. The woman was ducking back, moving away from Lanfear’s touch. Lanfear’s hand moved over the woman’s shoulder and then gently pushed down on it, “I will never forget this Lillen, and we will talk again…once all the angels have fallen we will talk again.” She paused and then said, “I will come back to tell you what the reason is, you in the meantime, will ponder over your actions.” She pushed her fingers deeper into the woman’s shoulder and could feel the skin breaking under her strain. “And you will have an answer when I return.” With that she released the woman’s shoulder and took a step back. “Try to find a more suitable place for us to meet next time, and ward your dreams my little spider, or you might find an unpleasant surprise crawling up to you.” A last smile which did not go past her lips and then she was moving out the door. The cloak back around her shoulders and the hood covering her face from anyone who tried to catch a glimpse.
Chapter 3 All of my Memories Keep you Near
Chapter 3 All of my Memories Keep you Near
Seeing Carmen, Alex felt shivers run down his spine and memories filled his head, the pain and misery she had caused and the death of his bondmate at her hands was enough to bring all the pain back. He lifted his hands up to his face and rubbed his temples, realizing that he needed to allow the memories to fill him, relive them after they were tucked away so deep in his heart. He sighed as he thought of Melissande, the Blue Aes Sedai who died at the hands of Carmen, his bondmate who had only wanted to help a young woman, hurt and raped, as was her Cause. Unshed tears burnt behind his eyes as Alex found Melissande’s face and he washed himself in her memory.
*flash*
Alex watched her as she entered the room in the small house they were visiting. He studied her face and felt the hint of fear she felt through the bond they shared. The reflection of her fear made his own only grow, she did not often show him this much as she always kept her calm. No matter what happened, yet entering this room gave him the creeps and he now knew that it gave her much the same feeling. Alex sighed and followed her, his hand on the dagger strapped to his belt. “Maybe we should leave,” he said in an attempt to stop her. But she refused, “No, I promised a final visit and so I shall visit her,” and then pushed through. The woman’s face had changed somehow, Alex did not recognize her as the girl they had left two days before. The girl who had spoken of a man who tried to rape her, a member of her fathers family, if he recalled her story correctly. “Where is she?” he asked and felt his fingers tighten the grip around the hilt of the weapon. Melissande’s eyes shot from him to the woman sitting there, the woman dressed in a black dress that left very little to the imagination. Alex thought he would stare right through the flimsy fabric. She seemed to enjoy their surprise and smiled, “She is no more, my mistress has parted and has taken her along,” Melissande’s face turned pale. “She can channel,” was the last Alex heard her say before his bondmate was thrown against the wall behind them. He drew his dagger and charged at the woman who had now risen from her chair. “Calm now, Alexander is it not?” He stopped, how did the woman know his name? “She will be fine, come with me now,” and then seemed to rip up a piece of time and space. Thin air broke open and he gasped at it, “What is that?” The woman threw her head back in laughter as she said, “This is your new home my pet, Matalina was right about you. A suitable mate you will be for me, a plaything maybe, but mine nonetheless,” and then her hands moved and Melissande felt lifted from the ground. Alex stared at the woman, unable to look away. He used the Spring to heighten his senses but was baffled by this display. He felt the Aes Sedai’s skirts brush against his arm as she flowed through the air, her eyes flung open and she opened her mouth to scream. He could tell she was struggling, her eyes growing wider and no sound coming from her lips. Then all the lights went out and Alex stared into a void of darkness, empty and silent.
Time passed by slowly, darkness kept creeping up on him and empty dreams of being alone in a dark cell filled the space that time left. As Alex opened his eyes, he blinked a few times and waited for his eyes to adjust to the light. He had no idea about where he was or how he had gotten there. “Melissande?” no reply. He felt in the back of his head for the bond, it was still there but weakened somehow. He tugged on it as best he had learned in the short time they had been bonded, he had only been her warder for two months as they traveled to Cairhien. She wanted to work there, help the young woman who had asked her for her help with the man who tried to use her. The young woman they had gone to see, Alex shook his head and took in his surroundings. He rose to his feet but could not and toppled over hard, his hands barely stretched out before him as he landed. He muttered a curse and tried to rise again, and then felt the shackles on his feet. Something was bound around his ankles and it felt like heavy iron. The light in the room came from a single window, high up on the wall across from him. It had bars in front of it and Alex wondered if that was necessary. He studied the window and then looked back at his leg, trying to pull his leg into the beam of light. It was bound with an iron lock against the wall and he sighed as he tried to pull on it with his hands. He leaned back, knowing that it was no use when suddenly his head filled with an intense pain. Melissande was hurt and he was cooped up in some cell, bound by an iron chain to the wall. Alex grunted as the pain went through his body in hot flashes. “Mel…please,” he sent the words through the bond but realized soon enough that her pain was greater than her ability to keep anything to herself. Her feelings were too overwhelming for him and Alex whimpered as he tried to make himself small. Bending his back and putting his head between his knees he waited until it stopped. When it finally did stop, he felt nothing coming from Melissande. Was she dead? Had the strange woman killed her? Was that the immense pain he had felt? Questions burned through his head as suddenly she reappeared in his mind. She sent him something that seemed almost intended like comfort. He took it for what it was and decided to remain calm from here on after. He had no idea where he was or what was expected of him, but at least she was still alive.
The door swung open and a faintly lit corridor appeared in view. A man clad in midnight blue stood in the doorway. He was holding a piece of rope and a large sword was strapped to his waist. Alex’ mouth felt dry, but he managed to speak. “Where is she? Where is my Sedai?” The man did not reply, he came up to Alex and pulled the pin from the lock on the wall with a swift movement, then helped Alex to his feet. As they stepped out of his cell, Alex asked again, “Where is she?” but the man kept silent. They walked down another corridor, up a flight of stairs and then halted at a door. The man stopped and pulled out the piece of rope, Alex merely stared at it. The man took Alex’ hands and to his surprise, he could not protest nor could he pull his hands back. The rope was tied around his wrists behind his back and then he was pushed into the doorway. The woman in black was standing bent over Melissande. “Ah Alexander, there you are,” the woman smiled lusciously at him and ran a finger along his jaw. He grunted, but kept his calm and tried to get a glimpse at Melissande. The bond did not tell him much, she was somehow keeping it all to herself. A hint of what she was feeling pressed through as she looked up and recognized him. She hissed in a low voice not like her own, “Get him out of here Carmen, don’t you dare hurt him,” and Alex waited. Carmen, so that was her name then, he thought. “Smile, it suits you,” she said to him and then turned to Melissande. “Do not tell me what I can and cannot do Aes Sedai,” she moved her hand only an inch and the next moment something exploded inside Alex’ mind. She had done something to Melissande and he was driven down through his knees, the pain too much to deal with. His head was pushed down in an unseen force and Alex struggled to put himself back on his feet, he couldn’t. He simply could not move himself out of harm’s way and anger ran through him. “Stop hurting her,” he said and then repeated it louder. The woman, Carmen, turned to look at him and smiled, “You are her Warder, you only feel a reflection, look at her…” she said and walked up to him. She pulled on his chin and pulled his face up to see Melissande. The Aes Sedai had closed her eyes and lay on the ground like a ball. She had pulled her legs under her and was shivering as if thrown in frozen cold water. “Mel….please fight her,” he said and realized that he was supposed to help her. Try and save her, instead he was kneeling in front of their captor with his hands tied on his back and her pain so plain in his sight. Suddenly, Alex was pulled away from the room by the man who had brought him. He could feel the man’s hands on his wrists as he was pulled back. He scrambled up to his feet in an attempt to pull away from the man but he could not. Back in the small cell, Alex cried in silence, not for his own pain but for the pain he had felt through the bond. He tried to send comfort through the bond, but it seemed that Melissande was too far away somehow. He did not understand, but knew that it had not been long enough for a good strong bond to settle on them. He cursed in the dark and finally fell asleep, his arms under his head and his feet awkwardly far from him as his ankle was shackled up again.
The next three nights the ritual seemed to be repeated, Alex was thrown on his knees to watch as the woman in the dark dress tortured Melissande. She did so with the One Power as he could never see a weapon, nor any physical blow, he knew because he felt her pain. The bond became stained and he felt her struggle to hold back her pain from him, on the third night he begged her to make him feel and it was Carmen who replied. She laughed and said, “He is ready,” and then he could feel the pain driven through his skull and down his back. She was pushing down on him with an unseen force that was stronger than anything he had ever felt before. He pulled his neck in and the pain became even worse. “Aaaah,” he yelled and felt ashamed that he could not hold in the pain like Melissande had. “No,” he said and pushed his hand down further, until his cheek was pushed down on the ground. He closed his eyes and then opened them again, almost feeling them bulge out of their sockets. He was lifted by something that felt like air on his skin and then brought back to his cell by the man in midnight blue. Alex did not sleep that night, he was kept awake by her screams inside his head and wondered if they would ever end. By the time morning came, so did the man who brought him back to the room where Melissande was being held. Carmen looked awake, fresh and had a driven look on her face. “We’re ready,” she said and then pulled Melissande up with threads of air. He was sure it was air that lifted the Aes Sedai, she was not sending out vibes of pain, but fear started to push through the bond now and Alex struggled to free the bonds on his back. “Release her,” he said and got a thwap in the face which landed him on his back.
The next thing Alex knew was the feeling of a knife cutting through him from head to toe and he screamed. The scream became more high pitched and then as he stopped he thought it would stop too. But the sound continued and the pain deafened him as much as the screams. Next it was all gone, he felt empty and hollow inside and as he opened his eyes and stared at where Melissande had just been moments before he realized that she was gone. “What did you do with her?” the feeling of emptiness increased and Alex let out a deep sigh as he had rid the strain from the pain and pressure as well. She smiled and pointed to a corner at the far end of the room, where he saw the crippled body, bleeding and pale of Melissande. Her chest was not rising and her limbs did not move from their awkward position. She reminded him of a bird that had landed with broken wings and he shivered. “Is she?” he asked and the woman came walking up to him slowly, swaying her hips from side to side gently as she did. “Yes, she is. Do you miss her? Do you miss her screams and her pain?” She looked innocent, her face almost completely open and warm facing him. Then she broke it up in a smirk and said, “He is ready, take him to my quarters.” With that Alex let his head hang, it was his time to die, he had lost his bondmate. He had not been able to protect her and now she was dead. He started to shiver again and realized that he was not being led back to his cell. Where was he being taken and why? The answer came soon enough as he was led down a few corridors and into a room that reminded him off a brothel, more than it reminded him of a woman’s private quarters. The walls were painted in a deep red that looked almost black, with dark blue curtains that were almost black hanging over long windows on one side of the room. He stared around and took in every detail, trying to make sense of it, he noticed a large bed that had no sheets on it. Just a mattress covered in a deep blue silk layer of fabric with four posters around it. The four wooden posters around it looked tall and strong, as if they could hold the bed in even the most violent of encounters. Alex shivered as the realization of this room became clear to him, there were no wardrobes, no chairs, just the large bed. Melissande was dead and this was the room she had sent him to?
Then the door opened and Carmen stepped in, she did not walk up to him straight away, but talked to the man who was still holding him. Alex tried to hear their conversation, but his head was filled with pain and loss. The emptiness seemed to feed of this loss and he felt his chest burn with every breathe he took. He was still alive and Melissande had died, right before his eyes an he had done nothing to stop Carmen, to stop the woman by at least screaming or trying to run up to her. She smiled, turned to face Alex and said, “You will lie down on the bed, Cedric here with give you a hand with that,” then turned through a side door and left. Alex looked up at the man who was walking up to him, stone-faced and void of any emotion. Alex frowned and felt the man remove the rope from his wrists and next thing he knew the man removed his shirt over his head. Alex stood in his breeches staring at the man, then felt the man push him over towards the bed. He glanced over at the man and then decided it was enough. He lifted his fist and tried to take a swing at the man behind him, only to feel that his hands were very heavy. His muscles ached and his wrists showed burn marks from the rope. He was weak, he had not eaten since he had woken up, had just had water and as he was near the man’s face, his fist was pushed down with a strength he had not expected from the man. His hand was driven all the way to the floor and Alex sunk down through his knees, grunting and muttering curses. Then he tried to pull his hand back and finally managed to swing lightly at the man’s face, who then ducked away from reach. “You heard the mistress, the bed is where you shall go,” and then he pulled on the breeches Alex was wearing. Alex jumped and pulled himself out of the man’s reach. “What are you doing?” The man shrugged, remove them yourself, then lie down on the bed. Carmen never said that you needed to be there left whole, she just mentioned you needed to breathe, I will take out an arm if you don’t stop fighting me.” The look on his face showed that he was not making idle threats and Alex was too battered down to care what happened to him, he had lost his bondmate and was now expected to undress. Fine, if they wanted to banter him and make him feel worse, they could try. Surely they would fail as no pain was greater than the cut of the bond severed just moments before.
As he laid down on the bed – naked, the man grabbed his hands and tied each wrist to one of the bedposts, then did the same to his ankles. Alex felt like he was pulled apart and wondered what kind of device this was. Yet, as he moved his buttocks up a bit, he could feel that his elbows and knees still had room to move. He could pull up his legs just a bit and his arms could be pulled in a bit as well. What was going on here? Was she going for torture and comfort all in one? The man left, without another word and Alex was left to ponder alone. He felt his hair tickle his bare skin and was strangely amused by the simple sensation of tickling hair. It brushed over his shoulders and as he studied the simplicity of this feeling, the side door opened and there she was. Dressed in a dark red negligee that showed her breasts completely, just a bit of fabric to cover the nipples and then down over the belly. It stopped just at the top of her legs, which were quite long and emphasized by high stiletto black heels. Was she serious? Was this her torture outfit? Yet, her hands were empty and the expected whip and chains were not there. “Are you comfortable my pet?” she asked as she came walking up to the bed. Alex felt warm, a new fuzziness erupted in his brain and he tried to shake his head, instead he dropped it back down. There were no pillows, just a silk layer over the mattress he was lying on. What happened next shocked and excited Alex’ senses, Carmen climbed on the bed and started to move towards him, she sat down next to him and ran a fingernail over his belly, circled it over the skin and then said, “We are going to have some fun now, you have suffered enough and I have been waiting to make you mine,” Alex shook his head. Make him hers? What was this talk all about? And why did she not just kill him?
The answer soon came as her finger ran down to his manhood, which lay open for the world to see as he had no cloth to cover it. She let her fingers trace it up and down a few times and he felt a strange bubbling sensation in his stomach. This was not happening. He was not getting aroused by the woman’s touch, not from the woman who had just killed Melissande right before his eyes. But as his eyes turned away from her beautiful curves and the soft skin that she showed, her deep cleavage only hiding her hard nipples, which peeked through the fabric, his manhood was not hiding. It was not hiding and instead it was rising and seemed to show her his want. Alex sighed deep, trying to breathe off the tension in his loins as she bent over and started to kiss the tip. “No woman, what are you doing?” Carmen released him from her soft lips, the sensation had made his cheeks flush and she said, “You’ll learn soon enough and you will understand when you need to, for now just relax. You are not going anywhere,” and then settled her lips around his manhood again. He could feel the lust burn in his stomach, rolling over his body and making the hairs in his neck stand up. His manhood felt firmer now, being licked and teased by her lips and tongue and even though he struggled not to feel it, not to be a part of this and to be far away form his body, he knew it was no use.
Alex pulled on the ropes that held his arms, he wanted to push her head away from his groin, her lips off his manhood. Right now, not when she was done when suddenly his buttocks clenched and his manhood throbbed and he let out a curse. She released him from her lips, but it was too late and the stain on her silk sheet proved it. She cackled in laughter and threw her head back. “That was not so bad was it?” Alex shivered and tried to hide his shame, his face colored in bright red, flushed from the excitement and the shame he felt over what happened. “You can’t be serious,” he said in a low voice and stared down at his manhood. It was going limp now, now that it was too late and the deed had been done. He had just let her control him and there was nothing he could do about it, he somehow felt violated and did not allow the buzz from the climax run up to his brain, he wanted to feel the pain of losing Melissande over everything else. He did not want to enjoy the soft strokes of her fingers over his belly and he certainly did not want her to win. “That’ll be enough for tonight then, you need to rest. Tomorrow you must eat well, for we will have a long night together my pet,” she stroked his manhood which lifted in excitement for more and Alex grunted under his breath, tilting his head back. Yet, as he looked up again she was gone and he was alone in the room, wondering what she would do next. Alex felt cold and as time passed, he got goosebumps and his muscles started to strain. After what seemed like forever, the man, Cedric returned. He released Alex from the strains and helped him up to his feet. He even brought a white shirt and some clean breeches that were just a bit oversized for him to wear. Alex put them on and walked after the man, barefoot and cold. Fatigue and shame filled his mind and he did not pay much attention to where they were going until they stopped in front of a door that looked heavy and dark. Cedric opened it and inside Alex found a table and a small writing desk, a bed made for two and two small windows that were barred, but at least they let in some light. “Your quarters, I will bring up some food later,” with that he closed the door and left Alex alone. A wardrobe stood in the far corner and there were some clothes much like the ones he was wearing, glancing further he found his boots stood next to it. As he laid down on the bed, Alex tried not to think of the time he had jus spent with Carmen, instead he thought about Melissande and mourned her death. It took him hours to fall asleep and when he finally did, Carmen was there in his dreams, making love to him and rooting him on as Melissande watched with cold, blank eyes. Sweat drips rolled down his back, but every time he woke up and went back to sleep, the dreams returned and he had to face the struggle of Carmen’s physical attraction and the pain of losing Melissande.
*flash*
Chapter 2 Reflection from afar
Chapter 2 Reflection from afar
The sun came up and reflected a light in her standing mirror. She gazed at it and then closed her eyes again. It was not yet time to rise from the bed, it was not yet time to accept that time had moved on without her and that she had to face a new tomorrow. Too much had happened recently to make her want to face it all now, the soft silk sheet lay crumpled at the end of the bed, her feet resting on it as she watched the light change in the mirror. “How reflection can be so different from the true image,” she mused and then decided it was time to rise after all. The creamy skin of her bare legs was soon covered as she pulled a fresh white gown over her head. The layers of thin fabric made her body look almost like a fading image, the soft white hardly clashed with the creamy color of her skin but as she looked at her reflection, the hard ice blue stare made her look away from her own image. “I am but a reflection,” she said and finished brushing her hair after a few strokes. The long dark strands had soft curls in them, curls she knew would fade and then return like the tides in the ocean did. Her feet slipped into a pair of white shoes with a slight heel that elevated her just a bit. Where would she go now, fully dressed and ready to take on the world. Or what was left of it.
Mierin Eronaile as only few still knew her moved her way down the steps of the stairs and found herself in an empty kitchen. She had no more servants left, the mansion was abandoned, as empty as she had found it just a few days before. After the last of the battles had ended and the full power of what they had done had washed over them, she had chosen her own path. She had left the others to think, talk or cry and if she could be so lucky, kill each other in fits of rage, she had left them to be alone and by herself. But now that she was, truly alone here, it was not easy. She had found her one weakness, now that He had left her she had found it, faced it and hidden from it in her bed. With nothing but the mirror to reflect on her memories and the story that lay hidden in their pact. The pact she had sworn to uphold, for there was nothing left but that pact. She scratched her nails over the wooden table and found the skin under her nails burn, a sensation of pain ran up her hands. She hardly allowed herself to feel it, there was a greater pain to conquer. The pain of loss was far greater and would outweigh even the pain of death. “I will welcome death, I welcome it in the night in its true form, in the dark.” She spoke to no one in particular, for there was nobody there to listen. Alone in the dark kitchen, waiting for death and reminiscing time past she sat down on one of the chairs and stared at the wall. Then rose once more to make some tea, she did not take in any food as her stomach could not adapt to the sensation of food, it brought back too much of life. Rather did she sip her tea and stare into oblivion, waiting for the emptiness to envelop her. Her power, once so great it kept children awake, scared to go to sleep for she would visit them. The Daughter of the Night shivered at what her power had made her do in the end.
The rest of the day was spent in solitude; silence filled the air as there was no one who knew she was there. No one who wanted to know, or who would be left alive long enough to realize it was her. Finally she rose up to meet her daily trial, placing the cold and empty cup on the table she rose and walked back up the steps of her stairs. The room was light now, the sun had found its way in and she stared out the window for a moment. Then started to walk again until she faced the mirror and stepped out of the gown she had chosen to wear that day. Her bare feet touched the cold stones on the floor and her ice blue eyes met their mirrored match in the glass impression. “Face me, for I will do it again if I have to, I will not step down from my choice. I will not back away from the consequences and I will face what has to be faced. I am Lanfear, Daughter of the Night and queen of those who believe in the true nature of darkness.” As the words rolled over lips, she felt the power return to her. Finally, after performing this same ritual every day since she had arrived here she could feel its sweet power. Underneath the mask you’ve buried yourself into, it’s coal-black. Black as darkness itself, her mask she had thrown off and now she came to see herself as she was. “I have not changed, I have shed off the skin that was buried under a mask and I see myself now,” her mask had hidden so much.
The grief from realizing what had to be done, what could not be undone once it was over. The mask that they had all placed over their faces, their emotions and their doubt, they had buried their faces in it and the result was death. They had not followed the one power that they all believed in and after it was done, the spider had crawled back into her web. Lillen had been the first to leave the scene, trying to do it off as a nightmare the others had pulled her into. Not willing to accept what she had done and thus finding her web to hide in and to hide from the mask she had thrown off after it lost its use. “I will find you Lillen, I will cut through the threads of your web and hold up the mirror in front of you, to face yourself. Like I have every day since, every single day. And I will not pay alone, for it is all of us, but you stepped out first and thus you sealed your fate. The weakling who snuck off at first light when the creatures of the night licked their wounds and waited for the end to come and swallow them whole.” Meaningless words, uttered in a voice void from persistence and strength. Lanfear pulled on her dress and made a decision. She would visit each of them and ask them why, why had they chosen to follow him and in the end she would ask herself that same question. She would have to kill them before they answered her truthfully, it had to be so. Then she realized that she would probably have to kill herself before finding the answer she sought, but not before they had spoken. She smiled a voiceless smile and bared her teeth, the white shining back in her reflection. “They will speak to me, for they have no other choice,” and with a single hand gesture she took a dark blue cloak from a chair and placed it over her shoulders. The night would fall and the moon would guide her into the web.
Chapter 1 When we end, our memories remain
Chapter 1 When we end, our memories remain
Inhale, exhale, feel the flow of breath go through your chest and then commence to breathe normally. The words were there, he knew his breathe would start soon enough and then gasped and coughed as it did. A splutter of blood erupted from his throat and landed on his dark blue shirt. It was nearly black from the dust and Alex was not sure he could even call it a shirt still. Pulling himself up from the ground he looked over the grounds around him. He coughed again as he saw a horse lying on his side, the saddle next to him smeared with the blood that had come from the horse’s neck after it had been slain. The gash that ran down his neck made Alex gag, he felt his own neck and was surprised to feel its soft skin under the tips of his fingers. He took another deep breathe, filling his lunges with the dirty stench of the air of the dead. The dead that weighed on him, the dead that had been his friends and his enemies.
“Alex?” he heard a voice come up behind him, turning slowly he faced a torn smile on the man’s face. Jonathan, Warder to a Green who Alex had last seen battling two darkfriends at once with her sword and her Saidar skills. Blood came gashing from a wound in the man’s leg and he was leaning on his elbows, looking up at Alexander. “Hey, I thought that was you,” he said and then chuckled. “So we both survived,” Alex nodded. “Where is Aryl?” he asked, the Warder shook his head. “I felt her dying hours ago, my own pain stopped soon after and I raged after the guy who cut her in half with his air razor trick. The dark eyes grew bigger, Alex was reminded of the losses he’d seen, he had not seen the man’s Aes Sedai be slain, but he had seen many die the way Jonathan described it. “She died quickly, but the pain of the bond severing was … odd,” Jonathan added as an after thought. Alex frowned, but did not say anything. He understood that with the pain of the lost bond, the gash in the man’s leg, Jonathan was not going to be there for much longer. Why spend the man’s final hours pulling him back to reality. Alex was not even sure he wanted to be there himself.
A sigh enveloped him and the stench became a ghastly taste on his lips and on his tongue. He spat on the ground and stared at the spit stain on the dusty ground. Jonathan chuckled again and said, “I’m not going to stand up any time soon, so would you mind not spitting in my general direction?” Alex nodded slowly, he was lost in thought. The dust looked so dry, had it not rained recently? He could not remember and looked over at Jonathan, dust covering blood stains and a black eye on the man’s face, he was sure that it did not matter. “Alex?” the man turned himself up towards Alex once more, having lied on his back a bit to catch a breathe, “Alex, I think I’m going to die here.” Alex nodded, he frowned and tried to stop himself from nodding, but it was all he could do. He had no tears left to shed and the truth was that he felt he was about to die himself. Maybe not from a gashing wound that bled him out slowly but surely, but die he would. “I don’t want to die alone, but I do not want you to sit here and watch me die,” Alex watched him. “I want you to leave,” Jonathan finally said.
That odd taste came back in Alex’ mouth again and he had to restrain himself from spitting it out. He walked up the man lying on the ground and grabbed his hand in his fist. Reaching out, he pulled Jonathan up to sit upright. The man’s face went pale as he looked at the leg that was now bleeding even worse. “It can’t be helped,” he finally said. Alex looked at the wound and felt an urge to clean it up a bit. He wanted to help his old friend, who he had met only a few days before. “Maybe I can find one of the Sisters to help you,” he said, knowing that he had not seen anyone at all since waking up from the odd nap he’d had. The horse had thrown him off after a large sword had hit it over the neck and he had soon lost all sense of the world around. He had no clue how long ago that was exactly, but he was pretty sure that it had happened. “Someone can help you, I’m sure of it…” he said and Jonathan smiled up at him. “Get me some water will you, then just go.” Alex started to walk aimlessly, hoping to find a sack of water somewhere.
After what seemed like forever, he came across a woman holding a small child in her arms. Both were dead and from the blank look in their eyes, Alex guessed they had died a few days ago. The battle had been raging on for many months, here and there and never ending it seemed. Then what had happened now? Had it finally ended? Alex looked at the woman, holding her child apparently. Whoever had won in the end, these two had died and so had so many others. Soon Jonathan would die and then who would be left? Alex tugged on the woman’s dress, feeling disgusted as he did, stealing from the dead was a crime he had never thought he would commit. Never thought he could commit. The woman had a small water skin tied to her hip and it held just a few sips of water. Now came the biggest challenge, would Alex use the water to help Jonathan, the man laid there dying anyway. Or would he walk off and use the few sips to cure his own thirst. The taste buds on his tongue started to scream for the water, the fresh liquid that would alleviate the gruesome taste of death that had by now settled nicely in his mouth.
“Jonathan, drink this,” he said as the man had laid down on his side again. “Oh, you’re back Alex,” he said in reply and smiled at the water skin. Then his face turned sour and he pushed the skin back into Alex’ hands. “Take it, it’s wasted on me anyway.” Alex shrugged and took the skin to his lips, Jonathan yelped. “You are really going to deny a man his dying wish?” Alex chuckled and planted the skin in the outstretched hands. “No, but I’m thirsty and I’m tempted to drink when I offer and your refuse, now take it,” then watched as Jonathan gulped down the water. “She screamed you know,” he said and planted the water skin in Alex’s hand who empties the last sips with great thirst. “She screamed inside of me, it was the worst feeling I have ever experienced and I cried when she died.” Alex nodded, “It’s a painful process, to lose someone you love,” but he was cut off by Jonathan who raised his voice and said, “I did not cry over my loss.” He swallowed and Alex could hear him bite down on his tongue, he sat down in a crouch next to the man and placed his right hand on the man’s left shoulder. His right hand made small circles in the dust as he waited for Jonathan to find the words to speak. “I cried because I was not willing to endure the pain, Alex,” he said finally.
An hour must have passed as Alex and Jonathan sat in silence, Alex removed his hand from the man’s arm and then placed his other arm around the man’s shoulders, feeling him lean against his chest. “I’m like your girlfriend now,” the man said finally, his head rising and falling slowly with Alex’ breathe. Alex chuckled, in all this the man still reminded him off old friends, “No you’re not my girlfriend, your hair is brown and I like my women raven dark,” Jonathan pouted for a moment and then closed his eyes. “Thank you for staying though,” he said then opened his eyes for the last time. Alex stroked the man’s hair from his face and after a while realized that Jonathan was no longer breathing. “Goodbye my friend,” he said and planted a soft kiss on the man’s forehead before placing him on the ground. He bowed before his friend and said, “May the Earth take you back and give life in return, may your journey be free of worries and the Light Illumine you.” With that he left and never looked back.
Walking again, his feet felt heavier with each step, Alex wondered about what the day would bring him. The sun had climbed over the peek already and was on its way down from what he could tell. The air was thick with the dust that covered the ground and whenever he tried to focus on something that could tell him where he was, or what time it was, he felt nausea creep up. Best not be standing still and instead keep moving was his motto. He smiled at that, how long would it take for his body to give up on the moving and come to a halt. A full stop that would most likely be the end of him, as he would lie down without water and with the thick air to breathe. Keep going, a hint of survival was left in him, he traced it back to Jonathan, his old friend dying in his arms had awoken a feeling of wanting to stay alive no matter what. No matter what happened, he did not want to die on the same day Jonathan had, the man had a mortal wound and Alex was fine. He had a few scraps, a few gashes here and there and he was tired, but his legs were still moving and his arms could still carry the weight of a dead friend.
He sighed and tried to look at the bodies again, men mostly and a few women when he suddenly recognized a face. Kneeling beside the man, he looked over the gash that ran down from his chin all the way down to his belly. One arm was dismembered and lay aside from him, as if to take with him as soon as he would rise again. “I need water, I can’t stay here with you old friend,” he said and placed a hand over the pale blue eyes. Closing them and then waiting a few moments before rising. “I can’t stay here, I am not dead yet,” he said more to himself than to anyone there. After all, who was left to talk to? He started walking again, the dead tower guard lay in rest now. Alex stopped one last time and looked back, then noticed a glimpse of a brown sack on a body lying close to the man he had just left. He turned back and took the water skin, feeling it was still half filled. He emptied it in a few large swigs and with the last few sips, he downed all hope of finding other friends still alive. Jonathan would have died even if Alex had not found him. He knew that, but he would have liked to be able to head onwards with a friend next to him. Someone by his side with whom he could talk and who would listen, someone who would talk back. Not someone whose dead gaze moved over his own like a sad story.
He stumbled over something and to Alex’ horror found himself standing on the limp hand of a woman clad in black shirt and cloak. She had no blood smears anywhere, and wore tiny golden hoops in her ears. Her hair was short, bright red and combed back neatly. She held a dagger in her other hand and as he looked closer, he saw that she ore the Great Serpent ring on the finger of that same hand. “Aes Sedai then,” he said to himself and took a step back to watch more closely. Alex tried to remember who she was, but could not and then decided not to dwell on her. Like so many others she had given all she had in the battle and had lost. Like so many others she had given the ultimate sacrifice. And for what? It was still not clear to Alex where the battle had ended, and if it had. Maybe it had merely moved along, leaving him among the dead it left behind. The battle raged somewhere else, more people died and more clashing of swords would be heard all over. He sighed again, feeling the strain of walking and the need to sit down, lie down and sleep. Lie down and play dead, wait for death to come and take him like it had so many of his friends. Like the sister who had died with her dagger ready to strike, but something prevented him from dying. He had survived this far and had not met anyone who had been a threat to him. Jonathan had been pleasant company, of the dead however he could not say the same so he kept walking, hoping to find someone in the same predicament.
The sun went down and the moon rose, Alex felt his stomach grumble for the first time and started to think about food and drinks he could have had if this had been a normal day. He dreamt up a long table, with white table cloth and servants who carried large dishes to the table. Poultry, wine, bread, fruits and pies all assorted on the table and ready for his growling stomach to devour. But none of that was reality and he stumbled again, trying to walk with his eyes closed and his nose only picking up the scent from the dream at the table. Delightful scent of food, filling his nostrils and awakening his stomach until it hurt. He opened his eyes again and found the moon smiling down on him, but no food anywhere. The dead bodies lay scattered further from each other by now, he had left the centre of the last battlefield apparently. These were the smaller one on one fights he had seen people enter. The type of fights he had won a few times, before he found a horse and had started to ride up to the large battles. Memories faded again and his stomach seemed to settle in the knowledge that food was not going to come any time soon. He swallowed down the vile taste of dust once more and then cleaned his mouth with his sleeve. It was not until he did so that his eyes fell on the large gash in his right arm. It had stopped bleeding long before, but the blood that had spilled from it was still crusted on his skin. He winced and then started to scratch it a bit, removing dirt and trying to stare at it as if it was not his own arm.
As Alex mended his arm and put some pieces of cloth around the wound, ripped from his shirt on places he thought were not too dirty, he decided to try and find a place to sleep. His body was working overtime now it seemed and with the night falling, it was not smart to keep moving. Especially since he had nowhere to go but forward, the next day might bring more answers. A dark green cloak laid over a man who looked like he did not have much need for it anymore and without paying much attention to his face, Alex dusted off the fabric and checked it for cuts and holes. It looked fine and he took it along with the man’s pouch. No matter how many dead he saw now, he would find his way back to the living and then he’d need coin. Placing his head on the left arm, his right laying down his side, he pulled the cloak over himself and pulled his legs up. Sleep came soon enough as his body was a lot more tired than he had thought it would have been. His dreams were silent that night, lying among the dead who could have easily visited him in the land that laid behind closed eyes. But none came to visit and Alex woke more rested than he had felt in days from his dreamless sleep, with a dry mouth and the dusty taste still on his tongue. Soon he would leave this place and go back to a city, where they had running water and real beds. He smiled as a bird landed on a tree branch, he had not seen the tree when he had fallen asleep the night before. It was one of the few that was not scorned by fire or used to burn for a camp fire. The bird looked curiously over at Alex and then gave a short chirping sound before he flew off again. “Yes, you go fly off now, fly off and tell those who are still alive that they are not alone. I am still alive, tell them that,” he called after the bird and then looked down at his arm. The cloth was darker now, the gash had started to bleed again and he wondered how bad it was. However, he was not ready to look now, he would first try and find a river to wash himself and clean the wound by. Or maybe some food somewhere, so Alex started to walk again, hoping against better hope that he would find something, anything.
The day went by at a slow pace and Alex’s footsteps carried him past many a dead body. None that he recognized, all the information he got from them was that the emptiness of the plains after the battle were not passed yet. He had seen a few men who looked like they were better of dead, they wore black attire and one of them had scorned hands. Could they be the male channelers who had first fought the Aes Sedai and had later on changed sides and gone up against the dark armies? Alex tried to remember but his mind was a blur, images of people falling, screams entering his head. He was not sure that he would ever make sense of all the images, of the sounds and smells that rested in those memories. When he looked up again, the sun had moved behind a dark cloud and the first drops of rain started to fall down. He had not felt rain in days, weeks maybe and stopped with wide arms to embrace the cold water. It stopped after a few moments, almost as suddenly as it had began, but Alex stood there, his arms spread waiting for more.
“What are you waiting for Alexander Namere, the heavens to break open and lift you up in their arms?” the voice came from a woman he had not seen in over a decade. Yet, it felt like minutes had passed since their last encounter as he looked into those dark eyes and noticed the full red lips parting in a smile for him. He lowered his arms and stood there, watching her through squinted blue eyes that could only take in her beauty and await the fear she would strike into him. She wore a black dress, low cut and even from this distance he could see the soft silky skin of her bosom, only hidden by the layers of dark curls that washed over her shoulders. Finally he was able to move and he took a few paces towards her, “It’s been so long,” he said. The woman flowed down from the steep hillside she had been standing on, her feet barely touching the ground. She was wearing high heeled boots under her black layered skirts, he noticed how it made her look taller. As she came walking up to him, flowing in her movement without even seeming to notice the death and destruction, the complete emptiness that surrounded them both, she smiled almost warmly. He had learned not to be fooled by that smile and instead nodded at her and said, “Carmen, how have you been?” it was an odd question for sure. She was the first living person he had seen since waking up the day before. The first person who looked clean, unharmed and like the true seductress that she was. She smiled, “I’m alright, I’m surprised to see you here though,” her voice was light, not a trace of the anger he knew she had to feel. She lifted her hand and then took his in her own, not shaking it but tracing the tips of his fingers over her lips. Then lowered his hand again and said, “I missed you.”
