Chapter 3 All of my Memories Keep you Near
Chapter 3 All of my Memories Keep you Near
Seeing Carmen, Alex felt shivers run down his spine and memories filled his head, the pain and misery she had caused and the death of his bondmate at her hands was enough to bring all the pain back. He lifted his hands up to his face and rubbed his temples, realizing that he needed to allow the memories to fill him, relive them after they were tucked away so deep in his heart. He sighed as he thought of Melissande, the Blue Aes Sedai who died at the hands of Carmen, his bondmate who had only wanted to help a young woman, hurt and raped, as was her Cause. Unshed tears burnt behind his eyes as Alex found Melissande’s face and he washed himself in her memory.
*flash*
Alex watched her as she entered the room in the small house they were visiting. He studied her face and felt the hint of fear she felt through the bond they shared. The reflection of her fear made his own only grow, she did not often show him this much as she always kept her calm. No matter what happened, yet entering this room gave him the creeps and he now knew that it gave her much the same feeling. Alex sighed and followed her, his hand on the dagger strapped to his belt. “Maybe we should leave,” he said in an attempt to stop her. But she refused, “No, I promised a final visit and so I shall visit her,” and then pushed through. The woman’s face had changed somehow, Alex did not recognize her as the girl they had left two days before. The girl who had spoken of a man who tried to rape her, a member of her fathers family, if he recalled her story correctly. “Where is she?” he asked and felt his fingers tighten the grip around the hilt of the weapon. Melissande’s eyes shot from him to the woman sitting there, the woman dressed in a black dress that left very little to the imagination. Alex thought he would stare right through the flimsy fabric. She seemed to enjoy their surprise and smiled, “She is no more, my mistress has parted and has taken her along,” Melissande’s face turned pale. “She can channel,” was the last Alex heard her say before his bondmate was thrown against the wall behind them. He drew his dagger and charged at the woman who had now risen from her chair. “Calm now, Alexander is it not?” He stopped, how did the woman know his name? “She will be fine, come with me now,” and then seemed to rip up a piece of time and space. Thin air broke open and he gasped at it, “What is that?” The woman threw her head back in laughter as she said, “This is your new home my pet, Matalina was right about you. A suitable mate you will be for me, a plaything maybe, but mine nonetheless,” and then her hands moved and Melissande felt lifted from the ground. Alex stared at the woman, unable to look away. He used the Spring to heighten his senses but was baffled by this display. He felt the Aes Sedai’s skirts brush against his arm as she flowed through the air, her eyes flung open and she opened her mouth to scream. He could tell she was struggling, her eyes growing wider and no sound coming from her lips. Then all the lights went out and Alex stared into a void of darkness, empty and silent.
Time passed by slowly, darkness kept creeping up on him and empty dreams of being alone in a dark cell filled the space that time left. As Alex opened his eyes, he blinked a few times and waited for his eyes to adjust to the light. He had no idea about where he was or how he had gotten there. “Melissande?” no reply. He felt in the back of his head for the bond, it was still there but weakened somehow. He tugged on it as best he had learned in the short time they had been bonded, he had only been her warder for two months as they traveled to Cairhien. She wanted to work there, help the young woman who had asked her for her help with the man who tried to use her. The young woman they had gone to see, Alex shook his head and took in his surroundings. He rose to his feet but could not and toppled over hard, his hands barely stretched out before him as he landed. He muttered a curse and tried to rise again, and then felt the shackles on his feet. Something was bound around his ankles and it felt like heavy iron. The light in the room came from a single window, high up on the wall across from him. It had bars in front of it and Alex wondered if that was necessary. He studied the window and then looked back at his leg, trying to pull his leg into the beam of light. It was bound with an iron lock against the wall and he sighed as he tried to pull on it with his hands. He leaned back, knowing that it was no use when suddenly his head filled with an intense pain. Melissande was hurt and he was cooped up in some cell, bound by an iron chain to the wall. Alex grunted as the pain went through his body in hot flashes. “Mel…please,” he sent the words through the bond but realized soon enough that her pain was greater than her ability to keep anything to herself. Her feelings were too overwhelming for him and Alex whimpered as he tried to make himself small. Bending his back and putting his head between his knees he waited until it stopped. When it finally did stop, he felt nothing coming from Melissande. Was she dead? Had the strange woman killed her? Was that the immense pain he had felt? Questions burned through his head as suddenly she reappeared in his mind. She sent him something that seemed almost intended like comfort. He took it for what it was and decided to remain calm from here on after. He had no idea where he was or what was expected of him, but at least she was still alive.
The door swung open and a faintly lit corridor appeared in view. A man clad in midnight blue stood in the doorway. He was holding a piece of rope and a large sword was strapped to his waist. Alex’ mouth felt dry, but he managed to speak. “Where is she? Where is my Sedai?” The man did not reply, he came up to Alex and pulled the pin from the lock on the wall with a swift movement, then helped Alex to his feet. As they stepped out of his cell, Alex asked again, “Where is she?” but the man kept silent. They walked down another corridor, up a flight of stairs and then halted at a door. The man stopped and pulled out the piece of rope, Alex merely stared at it. The man took Alex’ hands and to his surprise, he could not protest nor could he pull his hands back. The rope was tied around his wrists behind his back and then he was pushed into the doorway. The woman in black was standing bent over Melissande. “Ah Alexander, there you are,” the woman smiled lusciously at him and ran a finger along his jaw. He grunted, but kept his calm and tried to get a glimpse at Melissande. The bond did not tell him much, she was somehow keeping it all to herself. A hint of what she was feeling pressed through as she looked up and recognized him. She hissed in a low voice not like her own, “Get him out of here Carmen, don’t you dare hurt him,” and Alex waited. Carmen, so that was her name then, he thought. “Smile, it suits you,” she said to him and then turned to Melissande. “Do not tell me what I can and cannot do Aes Sedai,” she moved her hand only an inch and the next moment something exploded inside Alex’ mind. She had done something to Melissande and he was driven down through his knees, the pain too much to deal with. His head was pushed down in an unseen force and Alex struggled to put himself back on his feet, he couldn’t. He simply could not move himself out of harm’s way and anger ran through him. “Stop hurting her,” he said and then repeated it louder. The woman, Carmen, turned to look at him and smiled, “You are her Warder, you only feel a reflection, look at her…” she said and walked up to him. She pulled on his chin and pulled his face up to see Melissande. The Aes Sedai had closed her eyes and lay on the ground like a ball. She had pulled her legs under her and was shivering as if thrown in frozen cold water. “Mel….please fight her,” he said and realized that he was supposed to help her. Try and save her, instead he was kneeling in front of their captor with his hands tied on his back and her pain so plain in his sight. Suddenly, Alex was pulled away from the room by the man who had brought him. He could feel the man’s hands on his wrists as he was pulled back. He scrambled up to his feet in an attempt to pull away from the man but he could not. Back in the small cell, Alex cried in silence, not for his own pain but for the pain he had felt through the bond. He tried to send comfort through the bond, but it seemed that Melissande was too far away somehow. He did not understand, but knew that it had not been long enough for a good strong bond to settle on them. He cursed in the dark and finally fell asleep, his arms under his head and his feet awkwardly far from him as his ankle was shackled up again.
The next three nights the ritual seemed to be repeated, Alex was thrown on his knees to watch as the woman in the dark dress tortured Melissande. She did so with the One Power as he could never see a weapon, nor any physical blow, he knew because he felt her pain. The bond became stained and he felt her struggle to hold back her pain from him, on the third night he begged her to make him feel and it was Carmen who replied. She laughed and said, “He is ready,” and then he could feel the pain driven through his skull and down his back. She was pushing down on him with an unseen force that was stronger than anything he had ever felt before. He pulled his neck in and the pain became even worse. “Aaaah,” he yelled and felt ashamed that he could not hold in the pain like Melissande had. “No,” he said and pushed his hand down further, until his cheek was pushed down on the ground. He closed his eyes and then opened them again, almost feeling them bulge out of their sockets. He was lifted by something that felt like air on his skin and then brought back to his cell by the man in midnight blue. Alex did not sleep that night, he was kept awake by her screams inside his head and wondered if they would ever end. By the time morning came, so did the man who brought him back to the room where Melissande was being held. Carmen looked awake, fresh and had a driven look on her face. “We’re ready,” she said and then pulled Melissande up with threads of air. He was sure it was air that lifted the Aes Sedai, she was not sending out vibes of pain, but fear started to push through the bond now and Alex struggled to free the bonds on his back. “Release her,” he said and got a thwap in the face which landed him on his back.
The next thing Alex knew was the feeling of a knife cutting through him from head to toe and he screamed. The scream became more high pitched and then as he stopped he thought it would stop too. But the sound continued and the pain deafened him as much as the screams. Next it was all gone, he felt empty and hollow inside and as he opened his eyes and stared at where Melissande had just been moments before he realized that she was gone. “What did you do with her?” the feeling of emptiness increased and Alex let out a deep sigh as he had rid the strain from the pain and pressure as well. She smiled and pointed to a corner at the far end of the room, where he saw the crippled body, bleeding and pale of Melissande. Her chest was not rising and her limbs did not move from their awkward position. She reminded him of a bird that had landed with broken wings and he shivered. “Is she?” he asked and the woman came walking up to him slowly, swaying her hips from side to side gently as she did. “Yes, she is. Do you miss her? Do you miss her screams and her pain?” She looked innocent, her face almost completely open and warm facing him. Then she broke it up in a smirk and said, “He is ready, take him to my quarters.” With that Alex let his head hang, it was his time to die, he had lost his bondmate. He had not been able to protect her and now she was dead. He started to shiver again and realized that he was not being led back to his cell. Where was he being taken and why? The answer came soon enough as he was led down a few corridors and into a room that reminded him off a brothel, more than it reminded him of a woman’s private quarters. The walls were painted in a deep red that looked almost black, with dark blue curtains that were almost black hanging over long windows on one side of the room. He stared around and took in every detail, trying to make sense of it, he noticed a large bed that had no sheets on it. Just a mattress covered in a deep blue silk layer of fabric with four posters around it. The four wooden posters around it looked tall and strong, as if they could hold the bed in even the most violent of encounters. Alex shivered as the realization of this room became clear to him, there were no wardrobes, no chairs, just the large bed. Melissande was dead and this was the room she had sent him to?
Then the door opened and Carmen stepped in, she did not walk up to him straight away, but talked to the man who was still holding him. Alex tried to hear their conversation, but his head was filled with pain and loss. The emptiness seemed to feed of this loss and he felt his chest burn with every breathe he took. He was still alive and Melissande had died, right before his eyes an he had done nothing to stop Carmen, to stop the woman by at least screaming or trying to run up to her. She smiled, turned to face Alex and said, “You will lie down on the bed, Cedric here with give you a hand with that,” then turned through a side door and left. Alex looked up at the man who was walking up to him, stone-faced and void of any emotion. Alex frowned and felt the man remove the rope from his wrists and next thing he knew the man removed his shirt over his head. Alex stood in his breeches staring at the man, then felt the man push him over towards the bed. He glanced over at the man and then decided it was enough. He lifted his fist and tried to take a swing at the man behind him, only to feel that his hands were very heavy. His muscles ached and his wrists showed burn marks from the rope. He was weak, he had not eaten since he had woken up, had just had water and as he was near the man’s face, his fist was pushed down with a strength he had not expected from the man. His hand was driven all the way to the floor and Alex sunk down through his knees, grunting and muttering curses. Then he tried to pull his hand back and finally managed to swing lightly at the man’s face, who then ducked away from reach. “You heard the mistress, the bed is where you shall go,” and then he pulled on the breeches Alex was wearing. Alex jumped and pulled himself out of the man’s reach. “What are you doing?” The man shrugged, remove them yourself, then lie down on the bed. Carmen never said that you needed to be there left whole, she just mentioned you needed to breathe, I will take out an arm if you don’t stop fighting me.” The look on his face showed that he was not making idle threats and Alex was too battered down to care what happened to him, he had lost his bondmate and was now expected to undress. Fine, if they wanted to banter him and make him feel worse, they could try. Surely they would fail as no pain was greater than the cut of the bond severed just moments before.
As he laid down on the bed – naked, the man grabbed his hands and tied each wrist to one of the bedposts, then did the same to his ankles. Alex felt like he was pulled apart and wondered what kind of device this was. Yet, as he moved his buttocks up a bit, he could feel that his elbows and knees still had room to move. He could pull up his legs just a bit and his arms could be pulled in a bit as well. What was going on here? Was she going for torture and comfort all in one? The man left, without another word and Alex was left to ponder alone. He felt his hair tickle his bare skin and was strangely amused by the simple sensation of tickling hair. It brushed over his shoulders and as he studied the simplicity of this feeling, the side door opened and there she was. Dressed in a dark red negligee that showed her breasts completely, just a bit of fabric to cover the nipples and then down over the belly. It stopped just at the top of her legs, which were quite long and emphasized by high stiletto black heels. Was she serious? Was this her torture outfit? Yet, her hands were empty and the expected whip and chains were not there. “Are you comfortable my pet?” she asked as she came walking up to the bed. Alex felt warm, a new fuzziness erupted in his brain and he tried to shake his head, instead he dropped it back down. There were no pillows, just a silk layer over the mattress he was lying on. What happened next shocked and excited Alex’ senses, Carmen climbed on the bed and started to move towards him, she sat down next to him and ran a fingernail over his belly, circled it over the skin and then said, “We are going to have some fun now, you have suffered enough and I have been waiting to make you mine,” Alex shook his head. Make him hers? What was this talk all about? And why did she not just kill him?
The answer soon came as her finger ran down to his manhood, which lay open for the world to see as he had no cloth to cover it. She let her fingers trace it up and down a few times and he felt a strange bubbling sensation in his stomach. This was not happening. He was not getting aroused by the woman’s touch, not from the woman who had just killed Melissande right before his eyes. But as his eyes turned away from her beautiful curves and the soft skin that she showed, her deep cleavage only hiding her hard nipples, which peeked through the fabric, his manhood was not hiding. It was not hiding and instead it was rising and seemed to show her his want. Alex sighed deep, trying to breathe off the tension in his loins as she bent over and started to kiss the tip. “No woman, what are you doing?” Carmen released him from her soft lips, the sensation had made his cheeks flush and she said, “You’ll learn soon enough and you will understand when you need to, for now just relax. You are not going anywhere,” and then settled her lips around his manhood again. He could feel the lust burn in his stomach, rolling over his body and making the hairs in his neck stand up. His manhood felt firmer now, being licked and teased by her lips and tongue and even though he struggled not to feel it, not to be a part of this and to be far away form his body, he knew it was no use.
Alex pulled on the ropes that held his arms, he wanted to push her head away from his groin, her lips off his manhood. Right now, not when she was done when suddenly his buttocks clenched and his manhood throbbed and he let out a curse. She released him from her lips, but it was too late and the stain on her silk sheet proved it. She cackled in laughter and threw her head back. “That was not so bad was it?” Alex shivered and tried to hide his shame, his face colored in bright red, flushed from the excitement and the shame he felt over what happened. “You can’t be serious,” he said in a low voice and stared down at his manhood. It was going limp now, now that it was too late and the deed had been done. He had just let her control him and there was nothing he could do about it, he somehow felt violated and did not allow the buzz from the climax run up to his brain, he wanted to feel the pain of losing Melissande over everything else. He did not want to enjoy the soft strokes of her fingers over his belly and he certainly did not want her to win. “That’ll be enough for tonight then, you need to rest. Tomorrow you must eat well, for we will have a long night together my pet,” she stroked his manhood which lifted in excitement for more and Alex grunted under his breath, tilting his head back. Yet, as he looked up again she was gone and he was alone in the room, wondering what she would do next. Alex felt cold and as time passed, he got goosebumps and his muscles started to strain. After what seemed like forever, the man, Cedric returned. He released Alex from the strains and helped him up to his feet. He even brought a white shirt and some clean breeches that were just a bit oversized for him to wear. Alex put them on and walked after the man, barefoot and cold. Fatigue and shame filled his mind and he did not pay much attention to where they were going until they stopped in front of a door that looked heavy and dark. Cedric opened it and inside Alex found a table and a small writing desk, a bed made for two and two small windows that were barred, but at least they let in some light. “Your quarters, I will bring up some food later,” with that he closed the door and left Alex alone. A wardrobe stood in the far corner and there were some clothes much like the ones he was wearing, glancing further he found his boots stood next to it. As he laid down on the bed, Alex tried not to think of the time he had jus spent with Carmen, instead he thought about Melissande and mourned her death. It took him hours to fall asleep and when he finally did, Carmen was there in his dreams, making love to him and rooting him on as Melissande watched with cold, blank eyes. Sweat drips rolled down his back, but every time he woke up and went back to sleep, the dreams returned and he had to face the struggle of Carmen’s physical attraction and the pain of losing Melissande.
*flash*
